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Old 12-25-2007, 08:56 AM
valentina36 valentina36 is offline
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Talking Re: am i a bad mother

Galeria. No honey you are not a bad mother. You are just overloaded. I don't know what you religious background is but I will share something in the hopes that it can help you. I am from Africa. There you take care of the children yourself even if your hubby is home. You feed them , clothe them, bathe them by yourself. It drove me crazy for a while. I have a set of twins and two singles. I love my children and I realized it was up to me to make some sense out of my predicament. I decided to make a plan. It will be hard but you have to stick to it because this is ENTIRELY on your shoulders. Build your patience. If they cry at the same time, make sure they are dry and fed and have no fever and put them in their room and leave for five minutes. They will probably cry louder but you have to persevere. In that five minutes you take a few breathes and relax. Gather your thoughts and form a plan. Think. 1. Why is each one crying? If you can't find a reason why then let them cry. As time goes on they will realize that when they cry unneccessarily, they get no attention. They sound like they crave your attention. Give them as much equal attention as you can. Be firm but gentle and kind. If they don't learn that from you, they will be lost forever. Toughen up. You have the make up just by being a mom. You went through labor three times and pregnany too. You can do it. Don't think about it as your duty - it's your blessing NOT your duty. Accept the fact that you can't get help from your man because of the way things are. Embrace it. It helps. Prioritize. Put them to sleep together and then sleep too. Anything that can wait to be done SHOULD wait. You are a mother not a machine. You go girl and let mw know. BE PATIENT, don't expect results in two days. Keep at it for yourself and you children.

I hope this helps.
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