Hi there - just wondering how you all feel about the basic importance of your marriage now that you have children. My husband and I always made sure to continue time just for hte two of us, feeling that we were the core of the family unit and that our marriage needed to stay strong. This made for deliberate time away from our son (dates, etc) and it worked for us. Just interested in how others handle this idea.

I think you are right on in maintaining a special and seperate relationship with your husband. I've heard that a lot of times the husband feels "replaced" by the baby. My husband and I haven't had the luxury of spending much time alone just yet as we're not in the same town as family and haven't been able to find a reliable babysitter as of yet. But we do make sure to go places with our son as often as possible, out to dinner, whatever. And of course we have some nice quiet adult time once our son is in bed for the night.

__________________
Tigriz
Mom to Alex - 1/21/06

I think tons of women - especially with the first baby - are so wrapped up in taking care of it, getting everything right, and just gazing in wonder (I remember doing a lot of that with my first ) that the husband DOES have some usual attention taken off of him. Of course this would be upsetting I think.
Its very important to maintain a strong relationship just between the two of you.

__________________
Umbilical Cord Blood Storage | Breastfeeding Advice and Information

You are so right about having time together - before the children leave the nest. Many people I've talked to have date nights. Since funds are limited, my husband and I try to work it out so that my children can stay over at their grandparents once a month. Then we take the time to watch a movie, or play a card game, or just enjoy the alone time - hint, hint

When a baby comes, usually the relationship of the husband and the wife is threatened. Most of the attention goes to the baby. When the baby grows older, there is a problem with discipline as a couple might not have the same ways of disciplining a child. However, these are some trials that the couples must have in order to strengthen their relationship. I stll believe that a way to nurture couple's relationship will come on the way together with the raising of their kids.

Nice to see how important time together as a couple seems to be to everyone and yes, you can even do it when you can't get the sitter. I used to plan for dessert picnics with my husband on the living room floor after our son was down for the night and they were great fun! (And pretty romantic at tiems aswell. )

oooh oooh oooh we've done the whole dessert in the floor thing, but by the fire place!!!!

We've been married for a while, and the romance is not always there, but those are the times you've just got to work harder at it. I'm working right now on not telling my husband "no" and it's been quite a "ride" for the both of us. I recommend giving it a try (for new mothers, wait until everything is healed up and back into place)

Kelkat - we have a fireplace too and it definatley adds to the mood doesn't it? I also can agree that romance doesn't always just "happen" - sometiems it needs to be orchestrated, especially when you've been married for a while (i am going on 24 years now...)

Romance is turned on by the advances of the husband and the ambiance of the place contributes a lot. Women, especially those who haven't recuperated from the activities of being a mother, need to be 'turned on'. a fireplace, a soft mellow music, hmmm, they will definitely turn a wife on...