So my husband and I have been together about four years , 8 months of which we have been married I am a full time student and have about another 11 months of study left we were hoping to wait to be married for a while and then have children , but we both new going into this relationship long before we were married that we wanted a family someday , well i got pregnant and i excepted it , we were having sex its part of that , its part of life and well he is my husband and this is our baby , it has been within the last month that this news has come to us , and at first he wanted an abortion but new i wouldn't do that , he has been very loving to me and taking care of "me" but as much as i appreciate it , i want it to include the baby to , its as if i feel as if he is going along with the whole thing i keep telling myself when i grow a good belly when he sees the first ultersound with the heartbeat he will fall in love , so for those of you ladies who tried with your husbands or who were wonderfully suprised , did your so ever come around , did they eventually "fall in love " with there children?

Well, this is a tough one. As difficult as it may be now, I would discuss it openly with him and be as accepting as possible of how each other feels. In this way, you can both share about how this was a surprise, and yet still something that you both "someday" wanted. Of course, there are tons of factors in your relationship that we don't know about, so this may not work for you, butit's how I'd approach it. Best of luck and blessings to all tree of you.

I'm with Amy - open communication. No matter how excited you might be, you are in for a big change. If he's not ready then he's in for an even bigger change. You have to accept his feelings and trust your own.

I agree as well that you just have to sit down and talk. I bet he's scared. It is scary to have a baby... for either the mom or the dad.

__________________
Umbilical Cord Blood Storage | Breastfeeding Advice and Information

Sometimes it helps to even go to a third party (counselor). That way, you can both feel that there is someone else to objectively help you look at he situation - sort of someone to "see the forest through the trees" while you can't. It's a tough situation for you to be in and I wish you the best - please keep us posted!

Although my husband gives only little time to talk to the kids, he makes sure that the kids have been taken care of in regards to their meals, and needs. I couldn't imagine myself if my husband would not seem to care for the kids, a husband who wouldn't help me in rearing my kids , or not wanting to be a Daddy? I just don't know but it would be real hard.

Sooooo unregistered......hopefully you've been reading and I'm wondering if any of our thoughts/experiences/suggestions have proven to be helpful?

We agreed to start trying with our baby, and he was scared. Scared as scared as scared. But you know what, our baby was born, and he was in love. THEN he started being a daddy

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that your husband has no physical changes when your baby is on the way. In other words, until he sees the ultrasound, and in many cases until he holds the baby in his arms, it's not a "real" person to him because he doesn't feel the changes in his body, or the tiny fluttering kicks. Be patient with him, this is a big step for him too, just try to share as much as you can with him, especially when that little one starts kicking in there!

__________________
Tigriz
Mom to Alex - 1/21/06