Be A Stay-At-Home Parent

[curious]

From the moment I learned I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. That feeling only strengthened when my beautiful son was born. I took one look at him and wondered how I could ever give up the opportunity to spend each and every day with him, watching him grow and learn, and exploring the world for the first time through his eyes. But there was a problem. We were a two-income family. How could we possibly afford to eliminate one of those incomes? Well, there are a lot of answers to that question and I’d like to share the ones I found with you.

The first thing I looked at when determining “what we can afford” is how much money we made. I was wrong. What I really needed to examine was our expenses. So, the first step I took in my quest to stay home was to list the expenses I would incur in order to work, versus staying home. This is what I came up with: professional clothing (your kids don’t mind that you wear sweats!); transportation costs: fuel, tolls, public transit, parking, etc.; those “must-have” coffee and/or donut stops each morning; lunches with coworkers; gifts for coworkers (holidays and special occasions); CHILDCARE – it’s in bold print for a reason. If you haven’t priced this one out yet, do it now. This will easily be your greatest expense. And, it only goes up with each child.

Go ahead and add up all these expenses. Don’t be too depressed, because there’s good news: these expenses represent your “instant rebate” for staying home. You’ve essentially just eliminated the need for a good portion (if not all) of your income. Need more savings? Keep reading!

How many times per week are you dining out at restaurants, getting take out, ordering in, etc? By staying at home, you have the time to go to the grocery store and prepare a wholesome and much more economical meal for your family.

Eliminate (or at least cut back) on your little luxuries. Manicures, pedicures, massages, hair highlights, 300 television channels, 2000 cell phone minutes. You get the picture.

Clip coupons. I actually started buying the Sunday paper each week just for the coupons! You may have never seen the need to do this while you were working, but if you take the time, it will save you money. There are also plenty of online sites that provide coupons.

Examine your bills carefully. When we had 2 fulltime incomes, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I rarely looked at any bill in detail. If there was an amount due, I paid it. I never looked at it, never questioned it. Now I go over every health insurance summary, utility statement, etc. with a magnifying glass. And, I can honestly say in the past 2 years I have caught almost $1000 in billing errors. That’s $1000 more for my family.

Make this a team effort. If staying home only appeals to you and not your partner, your chances of success are greatly diminished. Making adjustments to the family budget will affect the lifestyle of all those involved. This transition will be much smoother with the support of your significant other.

And last, but certainly not least, follow your heart! If you feel called to stay home with your children, then do it! All it takes is the determination to succeed and the willingness to reduce expenses. Best of luck to you!

By Jennifer Tarzian

[Tigriz]

Great post. I was working full time when I found out I was pregnant, and I knew right away I wanted to stay home with my son. It took some adjusting, but you're right, we end up pretty much the same finance wise as we would with me working and having to pay for child care. An amazing statistic I read the other day .... a stay at home parent in the year 2006 saves a family an average of $70,000 in child care related expenses. That blows my mind.

[kelkat]

Way to go curious. We were also a two income family (and I was the larger bread winner). All those are great money saving hints. Also, look for free family outings (the local art museum around here offers a free day as did the zoo at one time).

If you still find that swinging the stay at home thing is not fitting to your pocket, research online working opportunities or at home jobs. I've started both a flower business and a grants consulting business to supplement our income.

[Melos]

GREAT post Curious!! So many people say they "Need!" 2 incomes to live these days. Yes, there are some families who do... just to get by. But most of the people I come across who say this have two cars and an SUV, a house too big for their family, namebrand clothing, cable (with HBO etc) and go on a week long vacation to Majorca once a year.

Of course, if women want to work... that is another thing.

But I think MANY more women who want to stay home with their kids, can.

Also... so many ways to bring in some extra money on the internet these days while staying home.

[harleysneak]

Yes, I have to agree with you all. I wanted to be a stay at home mom very much and we are working very hard to make it work. I am having to find work online, etc. just to make ends meet, but it is very well worth it. The hardest thing for me is insurance. With the relationship I'm in, my partner can't add me to her insurance, so that's a big concern. But other than that, we are doing what is necessary to make this work.

[Sister]

I am a work at home mom and we are struggling. Mostly because even though I do stay at home we still have to pay childcare costs for my stepdaughter.

[DeeDee]

I'm curious to know if any of you have found some good work at home computer jobs online. All of them seem to me to be a scam. Are there any out there that are legit? Any of them out there where you make decent money?

I was reading some place or I watched it on tv on some night time show like dateline. Kids are more successful and get into less trouble as adolescents if they have at least one stay at home parent.

I am shocked to find out that childcare expenses are so high. I think I would spend the whole time worrying about my kids while I was at work. I would just rather stay at home.

[Amy]

Doing the numbers often does work in the favor of staying at home. I too would be interested in any information on computer jobs online for the saty at home parent. It does get harder, withthe more children yo have to be a stay at home mom though (not impossible, just tougher in some cases.)

[Sister]

One of my friends became a mystery shopper and this led to a merchandising job where she can make her own hours.

[La Marqueza]

That's great for people who truly have a desire to be stay at home parents. But then there are those people who actually want to get out and have a career and not stay at home. It depends entirely on what you want. Also some families have to have both parents working and then they are just managing even without all those little luxuries. My sister-in-law is a stay at home mom and she loves it but I have to be honest I could never be a stay at home mom.